I’m bothered. I don’t usually open Pandora’s Box but there is something that I keep thinking about but that I have been unsure how to properly articulate. I almost feel like I need a disclosure statement to continue, but I’m throwing myself under the bus here too, so I’m just going to spill it. You can’t get on the book of faces (ha), Instagram, search the internet, or go virtually anywhere now a days without some form of advertisement about how someone else can make you into a better you. Someone else who has ‘arrived’ at whatever destination that they have deemed worthy to share with the world that will help to transform you, the person that they don’t know, per their special formula, into the person that you were ALWAYS destined to be. Typically the financial success that these individuals have had in their said field of expertise is the measure by which we listen. Ok, that part I respect, from a BUSINESS standpoint.
We can all name several cliches that are plastered about in today’s world that are apparently supposed to motivate the masses into…better, I guess? ..”.AND who doesn’t want better”, is what we are all being fed? The messages are cyclical, and always follow trends. Better, bigger, brighter, faster, fitter, freer. We can all come up with more. At face value, GREAT MESSAGES.
If you buy into this, that, or the other thing, you will own an empire, have financial freedom that you have never experienced before, find the fountain of youth, or have the perfect life. If you’re lucky you may have them all… and we all shout SIGN ME UP. They all tell you some version of “get out of the box you are in” so that you can achieve the greatness that you were always meant to. Motivating? VERY, initially. Reach for the moon you’ll land amongst the stars, AMIright???
I’m unsettled about this narrative because as I really think about it, this way of thinking it’s taking us out of one box, to put us right back into another. The message is: DON’T BE (YOU AREN’T) CONTENT WHERE YOU ARE JUST KEEP WANTING MORE, BEING MORE, DOING MORE. EVERYONE OF YOU HAS UNLOCKED POTENTIAL. (That statement makes me want to go to sleep. It’s utterly exhausting.) Do you know what that kind of pressure and attitude does to real relationships? I actually do, and it can be very toxic quite frankly. This idea that we need to be/do more, more, more, or less, less, less (if you’re talking about weight) is a host for discontent and despair. It perpetuates a feeling of ‘I need better. I didn’t. I’m not...’ Nothing is ever good enough, including: ourselves, our homes, our cars, our spouses, our children, our lives. That’s motivating, huh? What do you think this does for anxiety and depression? How do you think it affects behaviors in general? Do you think that this mindset has any correlation with affairs and divorce? Maybe not, but we are being intellectually dishonest if we don’t think about it.
Listen, I’ve done it. I’ve hoped someone could help to make me better at everything. Tap into my creative juices, all about it. I’ve wanted more freedoms. I’ve drank the Kool-Aid, so to speak, of positive intoxication that has opened my pocket book when I’ve felt so moved by the message that I just knew that ‘this time’ was it. It’s motivating and inspiring for a hot second. You’re all pumped up and ready to slay the dragons. Some take it and run with it… but most go right back to their lives after the excitement wears off feeling ‘less than’, because that damn magic formula didn’t work.
Does this feel right to you? Does it feel warm and super fuzzy? It feels like an AWESOME business to me: tap into comparison, competition, and FOMO. Follow the trends. Does it fill a need? Heck yeah. It energizes and stirs the restlessness amongst us. The BUSINESS of motivation has used a form of propaganda to hijack minds into believing that we are not enough right where we are today. We begin to believe that our motivation is more extrinsic than intrinsic. This idea isn’t feeding us, it’s depleting us of our worth and our lives because it’s telling us that our value is based on achievements and accolades and not on deep relationships where contentment is a form of inner peace.
YOU ARE NOT A BUSINESS, I know that’s counter to what everyone is saying. You are a person. If your worth to someone is only the money you will bring them, then you are a commodity, not a precious life. I can’t be the one that makes you believe that you are enough, but I’m here to tell you that YOU ARE. You don’t need to wait until you achieve, hit that goal, or whatever it may be, to believe that you are exactly where you should be this very moment! By feeling this way I’m not in any way saying don’t try to grow, learn, strive, compete. I do them all. I AM SAYING that your path shouldn’t be compared to or look like anyone else’s. This is your journey. Your net worth will NEVER determine your human value, and your true motivation will always come from the mind and spirit that are already within you, NOT from someone else.